he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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