I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
