Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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