You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
