Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
