she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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