He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Found the puke drawer
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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