I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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