addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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