your parents love me but you hate me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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