I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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