just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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