just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
