this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
