College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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