You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
