if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this just has baby written all over it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
