dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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