Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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