No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
