I will die if light touches me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
