What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's blow job season.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
