arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
