Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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