i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
