So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
