i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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