Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
