there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
