I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
