dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
