No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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