I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
