So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
