Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
