if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
