Screwed.edu
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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