Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she told me i tasted like america
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
