Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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