i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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