Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
