Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
