Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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