I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
