I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
