i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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