suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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