What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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