Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
