Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
